Funny Hindi Jokes | Hindi SMS Jokes | Santa Banta Hindi Jokes - Fun Masti India

Funny Jokes In Hindi

Funny Hindi Jokes

Machli Jal Ki Rani Hai…

No… No….

Here is Something New!!!!

GirlFriend Dil Ki Rani Hai..
Money Uska Ziwan Hai..
Hanth Lagaoge To Chillayegi..
Money Nikaloge To Pat Jayegi…
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bhikari: amma roti do.
.
- Dadi: Abhi roti banayi nhi hai, bad mai ana.
.
- Bhikari: ye mera mobile no. Hai Miss Call De dena jab tayyar ho jaye :D
.
- Bhikari rocks.
.
- Dadi:Aray baba mere pas balance nai, mai facebook par status update kar dungi. Usay check karky aa jana.:D
.
- Dadi double rocks.;-
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa Banta ne Hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha. Hindi teacher ne unko ped par ulta latakne ki saza di.

Thodi der latakne ke baad Santa neeche gir gaya.

Hindi Teacher: Thak gaye kya?

Funny Santa: Nahi pakk gaya !
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Girlfriend to Santa: Me tum se tabi shaadi karungi jab tum koi sahsi kaam kar ke dikhaoge.

Funny Santa: Tum se shaadi karne se jyada sahsi kaam aur kya ho sakta hai?

Funny & Love Sms and Images

Watch all Indian Masti photos, Bollywood WallPaper, Funny Jokes, Shayari, Funny SMS, Funny, Cool Images, news, Funny Jokes, Funny Videos, Wallpapers, Desi entertainment. In this masti zone Chatting, talking, spamming, views, reviews, everything goes here. Come and meet people from round the world.

Ads by AdLoaded.com

FULL and FINAL

Watch all Indian Masti photos, Bollywood WallPaper, Funny Jokes, Shayari, Funny SMS, Funny, Cool Images, news, Funny Jokes, Funny Videos, Wallpapers, Desi entertainment. In this masti zone Chatting, talking, spamming, views, reviews, everything goes here. Come and meet people from round the world.

Aisa Kyu hota hai LADKO...

1..Papa kahte hai beta padhai karke kuchh bano to bura lagta hai,
par yahi baat jab Girlfriend kehti hai to lagta hai care karti hai.

2..GF ke liye Maa-Baap se juth bolte hai,
par Maa-Baap ke liye Gf se Kyun nahi??

3..GF se shaadi ke liye perents ko chhod dete hai,
par perents ke liye GF ko kyun nahi??

4..GF ko Picture dikhane ke paise hote hai,
par Sister ke liye suit dilane k paise nahi hote hai.

5..GF se roj raat me mobail se poochhte hai khana khaya ki nahi ya kitni roti khaai,
par kya aaj tak ye baat perents se poochhi??

6..GF ki ek kasam se smooking chhut jati hai,
par papa ke baar-baar kehne se kyun nahi??

so care your perents.....

Maa-Baap hi GOD hai Mante ho to Is Massage ko Faila do.

Funny Jokes In English

Funny Santa Banta Jokes :
Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married.

Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage?

Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th.


Naughty Santa Banta Jokes :
Santa: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me a drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender gives him a drink.

Santa again says: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender again gives him a drink.

Santa again asks for a drink as the fight is about to star.

Bartender: When on earth the fight will start?

Naughty Santa: When you will ask for money.

Funny Hindi Shayari for Love Friends

Funny Shayari in Hindi is a collection of some of the most hilarious two line to four line shayari sms in Hindi which are funny to ready and are full of comedy. Enjoy reading these funny Hindi Shayari and send them by sms to your friends and have fun making their day. Enjoy the comedy.

Unke Bewafai Par Wafa Hum Karenge
Yaad Ko Unki Dil Se Juda Hum Karenge
Itna Chaha Phir Bhi Yakeen Nahin
Aise Zindagi Jee Kar Kya Karenge

Mere Jineke Liye Tera Armaan Hi Kafi Hai .
Dil Ke Kalam Se Likhi Ye ! Dastaan Hi Kafi Hai.
Tir-E-Talwaar Ki Tujhe Kya Zaroorat-E-Nazneen,
Qatl Karne Ke Liye Teri Muskaan hi Kafi Hai

Ittefaq se hum mile,
Ittefaq se aap hume pasand aaye,
Ittefaq se hum dost bane,
Humari dosti ab ittefaq nahi,
Zindagi ki khoobsurat hakikat hai.

Yun durr reh! kar duriyon ko badaya nahi karte,
Apne deewano ko sataya nahi karte,
Har waqt bas jise tumhara khyal ho,
Usey apni awaaz ke liye tadpaya nahi karte.

Zamane se nahi to tanhai se darta hu,
Pyar se nahi to ruswai se darta hu,
Milne ki umang bahot hoti hai dil me,
Lekin milne ke baad teri judai se darta hu.

Hum to dil deneko taiyar baithe hai,
Darde mohabbat karne ko taiyar baite hai,
Par hai re meri futi kismat,
Koi dil leneko hi taiyar nahi.

Bekabu hai dil fir bhi jiya ja raha hu,
Khali hao botal fir bhi piya ja raha hu,
Majburi to dekho is dil ki.
Reply nahi mil raha fir bhi msg kiya ja raha hu.

Wo ruthe is kadar ki manaya na gaya,
Durr itne ho gaye ki pass bulaya na gaya,
Dil to dil tha samundar ka sahil nahi,
Likh diya naam to fir mitaya na gaya.

Comedy Shayari SMS in Hindi

 
Dil se kabhi mujhe yaad kiya karo,
Itna gair na samjho call nahi toa atleast
Miss call toa kar liya karo

Zindagi mein tum iss tarah jaise ki bahar aayi
Pyar iss tarah kiya ki gulzar aayi
Khush hum aise huae ki jaise basant ki fuhar aayi
Tumne dhokha iss tarah diya ki dil mai heartattack aayi

Socha tha har modd pe tumhara intezar karenge,
Socha tha har modd pe tumhara intezar karenge,
Magar kambakhat sali sadak hi seedhi nikli.

Itna khusnasib to hum na the
Hamari taqdia mai sitam kam na the
Fir kyo hum kuda ko itna bha gye
ki Banakar Dost aap Hamare zindgi me aa gaye

Shayar hoon arj karta hoon shayari
Sunlo itni bhi nahi hi buri
Varna murder kardoonga mere paas hai churi…

Yeh exam ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
Rahte hai jo nigaho se duur,
Saale wahi question compulsary hote hai.

Gaa toh hum Bhi sakte hai,
Agar awaaz hot toh.
Baja toh hum bhi sakte hai,
Agar Saaz ho toh.
Kaun kehta hai Tajmahal Shahjahan ne Banaya,
Bana toh hum bhi sakte hai,
Agar Mumtaj ho toh…

The Poultry Farm

एक समय में एक Poultry Farm का मालिक था जो की अपनी मुर्गियों के द्वारा कम अंडे दिए जाने की वजह से परेशान था
एक दिन उसने सभी मुर्गियों को हुक्म दिया की कल से मुर्गियां ज्यादा अंडे दे

मालिक :अगर तुम लोगों ने कल से 2-2 अंडे नहीं दिए तो कल से तुम्हारा दाना पानी बंद

मुर्गिया डर गयी …. सब ने 2-2 अंडे दिए मगर एक ने सिर्फ एक अंडा ही दिया
मालिक: तुम ने 1 अंडा ही दिया है ? तुम्हें मेरा डर नहीं ?

.
.

जवाब मिला : मालिक ! ये आपके डर की वजह से दिया है … वरना मैं तो मुर्गा हूँ

Funny Hindi Jokes

Funny Hindi Jokes

: Funny Hindi jokes is a collection of the funniest, most comical jokes which will make you laugh out loud. These are short jokes in a variety of categories.

Hindi Joke
Ek chor amir lok ke ghar mein chori karne gaya. Trunk pe likha tha “Trunk ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 156 number press karke sahmne vala lal batan dabao, trunk khul jayegi. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”
Jate jate chor us lok se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai!

Kanjoos Joke
Babu market jata hai underwear kharid karne.
Babu: Yeh kitne ka hai?
Dokandar: Rs 600.
Kanjoos Babu: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.

Funny Hindi Joke
Rubel gora tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha.
Tab Rubel apne patni ke paas jata hai aur pucha hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya?”
Aur pher uski bibi ne jawab diya, Darling mein vi Hot tum vi hot sayad “Bachcha Jal gaya hoga.”

Funny Joke
Parul (naukrani) ne Parul se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Parul Naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chup chap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne pucha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Parul: Nahi uske liye teen hi kafi hai.

Shaadi Joke
Shadi ke bad dusre din Parul apni dady se: Meri unse ladai ho gayie!
Dady: Shadi mein jhagde toh hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.
Parul: Woh toh thik hai par ab “LAASH” ka kya karu

Dumb and Dumber Joke
Rubel: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Liton: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Rubel: Kya naam hai uska?
Liton: Wo Bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”

Baap Beta Joke
Bap: a beta jara bol to kis boys cricket team captan larki?
Beta: a kase hoga larka team main captan larki?? A nehi ho sakta.
Bap: abe hain . jara soch ke bata.
Beta: mujhe to bakwas lagta he.
Bap: Srilanka ki us team ki captan “Mahila Joyabardhana”

Very Dumb Joke in Hindi
Rubel bara dukhi tha!
Ek dost ne us se pucha, “Kiu, tension mein ho?”
Rubel: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh Rupeey diye thay, ab saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!

Dumb Joke in Hindi
Rubel Kaun Banega Crorepati Main:
Question: What is you father name?
Rubel: Plz Options?
a. Dilawar
b. Changez
c. Feroz
d. Sultan
Rubel: Life line-50/50
a. Dilawar
c. Feroze
Pathan: Audience Vote.
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
Rubel: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
Kisse call karengy?
Rubel: Apne baap dilawar ko!

Cinema Hall Joke
Cinema hall Me Liton Ke Bagal Me Baithi 2 Aurate Lagatar Apas Me Baate Kiye Ja Rahi Thi. Thodi Der Tak To Liton Sabra Kiye Baitha Raha Lekin Fir Junjalaa Kar Bola- “Maaf Kijiyega, Mujhe Apki Baatchit Ke Chalte Film ka Koi Dialogue Sunaai Nahi Pad Raha Hai. Aap…..”
“To Hum bhi Kaha Aap ko suna Rahe Hai, Hamari Private Batchit chal Rahi Hai.”
Unme Se Anita Ne Munh Banaate Huye Kaha.

Funny Sports Joke in Hindi
Keya bolti hai tu,tu to iss para ka sera striker hai.
:nahi, maine iss elaka ki sabse baaje goalkeeper hu.

Hindi Joke
Suna hai tum club se daak paya ho?
: ha, thik suna.
:tumhara naam par kitni goal likha hai?

Beta Baba Joke
Diary par beta ki number dekh kar Baba hotash tha,iss tarah number pane ekhi tarika hai belt se marna.
-baba tum thik bola,besi karke pitna parega. Iss tarah number dene ka ye ek tarika hai.

Funny Joke
Ek admi police se bola kuch der pehle mera watch,mobile hijack ho gaya.
-app chillay kiun nahi help ke lyee.
-kiun ki, agar meine chillay to wo meri sona ki daat dekh leta.

Crazy Joke in Hindi
Matlab saab aap yeh age par aur ek santan kiun leta hai?
chup karo, member ki vi 11 ladka hai mere vi 11, ek ijjat ki bapar hai.

Short Hindi Joke
Maine khal katne par kumir anna chahta hu kiun?
Kiun ki bidesh par kumir ki bohot dam hai.

Dumb Hindi Joke
Agar admi ki paa nahi hota tha to keya hota tha.
Gari par break nahi hota tha.

Silly Hindi Joke
Nakshatra ki alo kiun mit mit kar jalta hai?
Voltage ki karan par,uha voltage kam hai.

Girl Boy Hindi Joke
:ladke se pehle ladkio ki saadi ho jata hai kiun?
:kiun ki ladki log ladke se pehle hai.

Two Men Funny Hindi Joke
1st person: mosquito ne hamari rakt khata hai magar neta log kya khata hai?
2nd person:neta log mosquito marne ke lyee paysa mar khata hai.

Funny Pappu Joke
Do log baat karti hai samaj ki halchal ki bare me,
:hamari jiban ki value kaya hai?
:aaj kal 100 Rs. Mein vi khuni paoa jata hai,so hamari value hai 100 Rs.

Two Men Hindi Joke
Do log baat karti hai samaj ki halchal ki bare me,
:hamari jiban ki value kaya hai?
:aaj kal 100 Rs. Mein vi khuni paoa jata hai,so hamari value hai 100 Rs.

Baap Beta Joke
Bap: hamari protiva kiun chupa rehta hai?
Beta:kiun ki sabne protivaban nahi ho jay is lyee.

Rickshawala Hindi Joke
Ek rickshawala bohot khata hai us lyee usko petuk kehta hai magar “Sher e Bangla” vi bohot khata tha magar usko hum kehta hai “Vojon Roshik”.

Hindi Joke
Maramari karke kapre cirne ke par din:
:ki vai,kiun daur raha ho?
:meri daurne par vi tu khota deta hai,rokh aj vi tera shirt chir dunga.

Pappu Joke Hindi
Ek admi ne pappu se ask kya ke usne nahane ke waqt kaun se dik se mukh rakh kar suru karega
Pappu:tumhare kapra se suru karo.

Jail Joke in Hindi
Two friend gossips
1 Friend said :  yaar Jail ko “Hawalaat” kyu kehte hy..?
.
.

2 Friend said:   Kyu k jail me khane ma  sirf
“Hawa” ur “Laat” hi milti hy-----      haahaahaa

Full Time Pass Jokes (Fully Funny)

Train me 2 aadmi safar kar rahe the..
1st - Kahan se arahe ho?
2nd- Lahore se
1st - Wahan se to main bhi araha hun...
Lahore me kahan se arahe ho?
2nd- Iqbal town
1st - Wahan se to main bhi araha hun
ye batao Iqbal town me kahan se
arahe ho?
2nd- Street 2 se...
1st - Wahan se to main bhi araha hun
ye batao street 2 se kis ke ghar se arahe
ho?
2nd- Rasheed sahab ke ghar se
1st - Wahaan se to main bhi araha hun
aacha ye batao kahaan jaa rahe ho?
Aas paas ke musafiron ne tang aake
kaha akhir tum dono ho kaun??
Dono bole- Hum dono bhai hai, time
pass kar rahe hai.. . :-/

Aisi apni Wife ho..................

Aisi apni Wife ho..................

5'5" jiski height ho,
Chehra jiska bright ho,

Weight mein thori light Ho,
Umer mein difference slight ho,

Thori see wo quiet ho,
Tu memorable her ek night ho~

Aisi apni Wife ho..................

Saas ki khidmat jiski khwahish ho
Beauty multiply by Twice ho,
mom dad ki choice ho,

Aisi apni Wife ho..................

Padosi jab baat kare tu,
haath me uskay knife ho.
Dinner candle light ho,
Tu Delecious har ek Bite ho,
Dono mein na kabhi fight ho,
Milne k baad dil delight ho..

Aisi apni Wife ho..................

Ankhain uski jaisay...sunny Twilight ho!
Honton ko dekh ker lagay...jaisay coke diet ho
Jab saari pehn k niklay tu kya sight ho,
Aisa lagay jaisay switzerland ki flight ho,
Favourite colour white ho,
make-up thora light ho
Zulfain Dynamite hoon..
Basant mein jaisay ur rahi koi kite ho !

Aisi apni Wife ho..................

Kaash yeh concept 100% right ho
agar aisi apni wife ho
tu kya haseen life ho
Batoon mein garmaish ho
har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho
kudrat ki bhi aazmaish ho
Defense ki rehaaish ho,
Kise ki bhi na look-a-like ho,


Aisi apni Wife ho..................
Aisi apni Wife ho..................

नौकरानी, मालकिन और FaceBook

मालकिन :

तुम 3 दिन से काम पर नहीं आई और बताया भी नहीं ?

नौकरानी :

मेम साहब,मैंने तो फेसबुक पर status update कर दिया था कि

Going to gaaon for 3 days

आपके पति ने comment भी किया था,

Have a safe trip, come soon ...... Miss you

 ..............................................................................................................................................

नौकरानी (मालकि‍न से): मेमसाहब, गजब हो गया, पड़ोस की तीन औरतें आपकी सास को पीट रही हैं।
मालकि‍न नौकरानी के साथ बालकनी तक आयी और चुपचाप तमाशा देखने लगी।
नौकरानी : मालकि‍न आप मदद करने नहीं जाएंगी।
मालकि‍न : अरे नहीं, उसके लि‍ये तीन ही काफी हैं।

Kanjoos Joke

Babu market jata hai underwear kharid karne.
Babu: Yeh kitne ka hai?
Dokandar: Rs 600.
Kanjoos Babu: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahi.

One morning a woman was walking

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies

"Fuck me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Funny jokes-Shaadi

Shaadi se pehle shadi ke baad
Shaadi ke pehle ladki: Darling tum nahi toh main nahi… Aur main nahi toh tum nahi!
Shaadi ke baad ladki: Aaj ya toh tu nahi ya main nahi!!

Shaadi aur mobile
Shaadi aur mobile me kya similarity hai?
Sirf dimag me ek hi sooch aati hai ki,
Thode din aur ruk jata to naya model mil jata.

Shoaib Malik joke in Hindi-Marriage to Ayesha

This is how Ayesha got married to Shoaib on phone.

Ayesha - "Hello Shoaib Afghanistan ka capital kya hai

Shoaib - "Kabul" hai

Ayesha - Sunai nahi de raha hai!

Shoaib - "Kabul" hai

Ayesha - Arre baba phir se bolo.

Shoaib - "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai

The marriage ceremony was completed..